The Proximity Best Friend

The definition of proximity is: nearness in space, time, or relationship. And the definition of best friend is: a person's closest friend. My mother has had the same best friend for decades now and I envy her. I have meant some really incredible ladies and it's been my privilege to call them my best friends. But it always happens for me, we move away from one another and slowly but surely the texts and conversations through social media start getting fewer and farther in between. That's not a bad thing mind you! It just means that they are busy having their lives wherever they are; even though I am no longer apart of it. I would never want them to be sitting around their houses, doing nothing just because I'm not around them. Heck no! I want them laughing, and loving life! 

While most people, like my mom, are super lucky to have just 1 incredible best friend for decades, I've been pretty lucky in my own right because I've had 6 in my short life time.

As a kid, there were these 2 guys I did everything with from the age of 6 until we hit age 16. Our parents were all heavily involved in church so we were always together. One of them got married to another one of my best friends, a lady I knew in college for an amazing few years. Whenever we were lonely, missing our husbands whom were out of town working all the time, she was always there to make sweets and watch Disney movies with. The other guy got married and they are all living their lives happily. We grew up and grew apart, as it sometimes happens. 

I also had a girl best friend from school during that time and we were always together from around 4th grade until high school. Now she's an awesome mom of 2, living a few states away from me. 

In the most recent years I have meant 2 incredible ladies: 1 went to school with my younger sister and after connecting through Facebook, we end up being best friends for 5 years. Doing everything together and even living next door to one another! She was there when I had my youngest son and she watched our oldest while we were in the hospital. Any mom knows if you're allowed to watch someone else's kids, especially over night, that means they trust immensely! Her husband got a different job and that was that. She moved away and is working herself, making new friends and enjoying her life as a mommy to a sweet lil guy. I'm so happy that she's having a great life in her new area! 

Now the last lady I had the incredible pleasure of calling my best friend was someone I knew less than a year. We met at a play-group for our younger kids and after a few times seeing and talking to each other a little, we clicked and became inseparable! We ended up teaching together twice a week and although play-group was only 2 hours (set up, teaching, and clean up) we often stayed hours after just talking about anything and everything in the parking lot! We just couldn't stop talking! We were like peas in a pod, or like peanut butter and jelly... when you saw one of us, you saw the other too. She made me believe I wasn't failing in my mommy journey, since there's a million parenting books out there but nothing truly works because as soon as you feel like you're getting ahead...the kids switch up the game on you. She was older than me with 2 sons around the same ages as mine so bouncing ideas off her really helped me and she never made me feel judged. When my husband was away on business and I had an abscessed tooth, she was there to watch my kids while I went to the dentist to get it looked at. And sadly when we found out we were moving due to my husband's work, she got together all the ladies from play-group and organized a going away party for me. And she also made car packs for me and my boys for our road trip to our new house. It's very hard saying goodbye and it's hard not seeing her everyday but I am grateful for the time we had together. 

I'm not bitter about not talking to these special people any more. Of course I miss them but I have my wonderful memories with them and the universe took us apart for a reason. So far in my new area I have met a wonderful lady with 2 boys around the age of my oldest and she just happens to be my neighbor! With each friendship, I learn from them about life, mommy-hood, marriage and about myself. I am very blessed by all the people that have been so special and dear to my heart. I am looking forward to the future friendships and hope these people know how very special they were/are to me. 

Happy Mommy-ing!

When Mommy Needs a "Mommy Moment"

Have you stopped today to tell yourself that you are amazing? I'm serious here! I once saw a comic strip depicting a "mom-bie" like a mom as a zombie. I think that and the picture of a mom as a super hero are the 2 most correct ways of describing moms everywhere!

Think about it for a moment...we moms do SO MUCH and so many things in just a day. My eldest the other day told me the same story about a game on his tablet over fifteen times in a matter of hours! He told the lady at the store, he told the guy at the gas station, he told his baby brother, he told his Great Grandmother on a Skype call and he even told the cat! My sweet husband, got to hear the story once. One time! While I heard it so many times that by the time we were eating dinner and he told his daddy it once, I was so frustrated that I blew up at him. My eldest just wanted to tell his story because he was excited and passionate and I blew right past it because I didn't want to hear it again. How shameful is that!? But what do you expect?

We as moms can't go to the bathroom by ourselves, or eat forbidden yummy foods without sharing. We have to multitask chores like dishes, laundry, making dinner and referring the kids. We do all this (and more sometimes!) while our husbands go potty for 45 minutes ALONE, read an enlightening article, watch hilarious videos, go to the gym, work on the car or on their new high score on a video game. Sure the husbands might work full time, stressful jobs so that we as stay-at-home moms can do just that: stay at home. I love being able to do just that! I really do appreciate that my husband works at a job that brings in enough money for me to get to stay home with my kids! However, his job ends once he's home and then he can relax. My job, as a mommy, is 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year! It is a never ending job!
No wonder I blew up at my eldest after I had heard the same story all day... but I wonder if I had left the room or mentally checked out during that story, would I have reacted the same way? One of my dear friends said this once to me: "when my husband is off of work at 5PM, so am I. He is off the clock and so am I." That's a wonderful thought and that works well for her but someone's solution isn't always your solution. This test of life is not a cheat-able one; it's a scientific theory kind of test. Tons and tons of trial and error! I wonder if I would have taken a "mommy moment" to clear my head, and breathe deeply to calm myself if I would have reacted better and with more love.
Kids are like the water that slowly wears down a rock. It takes a little bit with every current. My patience wears down bit by bit, my happiness bit by bit and my love seems to sink while the anger comes full force. How horrible! How horrible to think that's what my children might only be seeing: my impatience, my unhappiness and my anger.
I stay up late in the evenings because I love the silence of my house. I love getting the house back in order and everything ready for the next morning. I watch my romantic dramas and crocheting. That's my favorite "mommy moment". I used to get up before everyone too, eat breakfast in peace, and have a cup of tea, while it's hot to get me going. I'd be dressed and fully ready for the day by the time I needed to wake up the kids and then I could focus on them. Unfortunately, late nights and early mornings don't work together and no one likes or gets along with a grumpy, tired mom! When my boys get frustrated or upset about something, I tell them to "cool off" for a bit, take a break from whatever is making them feel that way and relax. Why am I not doing it myself?! I should be "practicing what I preach"! Why not say, "I need a mommy moment" and cool off?! I think I'm a bad mom that's a bit too uptight... but I know that I can get to that happy mom status I'm so desperately trying to achieve. Maybe more "mommy moments" can help get me to that goal and help me show more love and happiness for my amazing boys!!

Happy Mommy-ing!

Less Stressed Thanksgiving

It is officially the holiday season and with that comes the holiday stress! I blinked and all of Fall is gone! It feels like it was just summer and I was just getting my oldest for school again.... and now I've put up my Christmas tree 🎄

Thanksgiving is one of my favorite memories with my family. Tons of yummy food that we get to spent all day eating and then eating so much food that everyone naps after dinner while we watch a Christmas movie🎅💤 Unfortunately I haven't lived in the same state as my family for many years but I do have friends over to help celebrate this wonderful holiday. This year I decided to try to make things easier on myself. Here is what I did to reduce stress:
● On the Tuesday before Thanksgiving: I made the desserts, a cake & pecan pie. Both take about an hour to cook and I cooked one in the morning and the other in the evening.
● On the Wednesday before Thanksgiving: I mixed up all the components for the green bean casserole and put it in the fridge. Then I made the mashed potatoes and placed them in the fridge as well. I wanted to make Stuffing muffins so I chopped up the celery and apple and placed it in the fridge. All the side dishes done!
● Thanksgiving morning: after having a simple breakfast (my family loves "Monkey Bread" which you buy in the freezer section & microwave for 2.5 minutes. Simple but so yummy!) my family helped me by cleaning the house for our guests that afternoon. Then I took out my serving plates and placed them where I was going to use them later.
● Thanksgiving afternoon: my boys went down for quiet time/nap-time while my husband started to deep fry the Turkey 🦃😍. I actually got to relax a bit before my guests arrived because everything was done.
● Thanksgiving guests arrived: I had all the appetizers out for us to enjoy. And I just had to cook the casserole and reheat the mashed potatoes and heat up the Hawaiian rolls.
Everyone helped me clean up after dinner, I used paper plates for easier clean up and then we enjoyed some time around our fire pit outside. Then dessert and a Christmas movie 🎄🎅

Next year I will be doing the same thing because it was less stress for me and I actually got to enjoy the holiday instead of being in the kitchen away from it all.
How do you deal with holiday stress? Tips?

Happy Mommy-ing!

Back To School 2018-2019!!!

The Summer is finally over!!! I know lots of moms that are so happy to have school back in session! I learned over the Summer that my boys behave the best when we are on a schedule of some sort. So our Summer week looked like this:

Something Every. Day! No wonder I didn't have any time from blogging! But it was well worth it! My boys had a great summer, we did new things and met new people and that's really all a mom could hope for. But now we are back in school mode and I am so beyond happy! My oldest needed to do something else because he was starting to get bored with everything.
Now I am NOT a last minute type of person (not that there is anything wrong with that by any means, everyone is different) heck, I already have Christmas presents in my closet! So I got pretty much everything ready for my son to go to school as soon as we got the school supply list (which we got off the Wal-Mart App! It was SO COOL!). Plus is helps so much that his birthday is at the end of the summer and he gets lots of clothes for that!
The only thing I need to do is make sure everything is in place for us in the morning because I am a very grumpy woman in the morning and anything to make it easier is a blessing, for everyone!
My Tea :

My cup with my tea and the Kettle all filled with water so all I have to do is turn it on and add sugar! 

Back-Pack:

My son's back-pack lives in the kitchen, on his chair! It only leaves once it's time to go to school and gets put right back as as soon as we get home. Makes it easier to pack and see all his school papers.

My Purse:

My beautiful Lily Jade Cailin lives at the table too! Makes it easier to pack and grab once it's time to leave!

Clothes:

My clothes for the next day, totally helps when I am half asleep!

My youngest's clothes since I tend to wait until it's time to leave to get him. It is so much better for me to not have him under foot or have the 2 of them fighting while I am doing other things around the house. Plus he is very grumpy if we wake him too early! Then I bring breakfast for him in the car.

Snacks/Lunch:

These are our lunch pails: Spider-Man for me and my youngest's snacks and space for my oldest at school

After we drop off my oldest at school, my youngest and I still follow our summer schedule of doing something everyday before nap time. And of course it helps to have a few "mommy routines" as well to help keep everything moving in the right direction:

1. I try to do 1 load of laundry (wash, dry, fold and put away) every other day so everyone has clean clothes. Last year I wasn't so on top of this and there were a few times it bit me in the rear: my oldest has long legs but a tiny waist so even though he has a lot of the next size up (because I just know he's going to grow here soon!) he still only fits in about 5 pairs of shorts right now. So keeping the laundry going is a huge help so we are not yelling in the morning that he doesn't have clean shorts.
2. I have my oldest pick out his own clothes on Sunday night and place it in this hanging divider in his closet so he can get dressed quickly.

3. I run the dishwasher at night right before I go to bed. During the day I fill it with dirty dishes so there aren't dishes piled in the sink and then unload it the next morning or after I drop off my oldest at school.
4. I have an alarm for when I need get up and one to go to bed. Sounds so funny right?! Why would I, a mom, need a reminder to go to bed? Well, when the house is finally quiet because the kids are asleep, the house is clean and everything is ready for the next day... I like to relax on the couch, watching my show (currently The Vampire Diaries!), eating those foods I don't what to share (you know what I'm talking about!) and crochet my next project in peace! Of course time would get away from me! If I didn't have my alarm, I would stay up pass 11 PM and it still takes me about 20 minutes to get ready for bed and then I don't even know how much longer it takes for my brain and body to relax enough for me to fall asleep! But I just know that with my alarm, I am in bed asleep by 10:30 PM! It helps, trust me!

Those are some of my secrets to making the week a bit less crazy during back-to-school! 

Happy Mommy-ing! 

Mommy Cards

So there's a new trend happening today among Stay At Home Moms, or SAHM, "Mommy Cards". Sounds like stationary or greeting cards but it is actually business cards for moms. Wait, I am a Stay At Home Mom... that means I have no job. These are business cards, typically used for people with jobs. So why the need for these "Mommy Cards"? What would I, as a mom, need business cards for in my life? I'm a wife and a mom with a personal blog. Not business worthy. Why invest in business cards that are probably going to get lost in my purse (link here)? 

Actually as a mom, there are many opportunities for these "Mommy Cards". This lady's blog (link here) was very informative and gave many reasons to have these cards handy as a mom:

• Setting up kids' playdates
• To leave with the babysitter
• running into someone at the store
• at offices like the dentist and doctor

Vistaprint even has many different designs for their Parent Cards as they call them (link here). There's a place for your name and then it prints out "parent of blank". Like typical business cards, there's places for address, phone, email and company name. There is also a place to put it your kid has an allergy to something, which I thought was very helpful! 

Personally, I am now volunteering at our local YMCA and I am meeting new people every week. It is much easier to hand one of these cards out to a fellow volunteer than it is to try to exchange information well kids are running around us screaming their heads off. I almost pulled out a card while I was at the bank the other day because it's easier to show my information than it is to tell it but that might just be me. I'm hopeful when summer is over and my oldest is back in school that I'll be ready to give them out to the moms. I think it is a great idea for shy people, like myself, as an ice breaker.

HAPPY MOMMY-ING! 

Making A Guest Room from Your Spare Room

When family visits a few times a year, we make up our spare room into a semi-functionally guest room. We do not have an extra bed nor a sleeper sofa (bed that pops out of a couch). We simply have a section of our old couch upstairs.

I normally clean up the extra junk, like baby items and bigger toys, out a few days prior to family coming out. Then I take a Cal-King bedspread we had in our master before we downsized to a Queen mattress, and I cover the couch cushions and the back of the couch (and tuck it in so it doesn't fall off). I take a Twin bedspread from my oldest and a flat sheet for the covers. Then I place a guest pillow and an over sized couch pillow on top with their rolled guest towels. I leave out an extra blanket in case they need it and an extension cord for their phone chargers.

A few homey touches like a chair to place their suitcase on or hang a jacket on, a hook on the wall for their purse or jacket or towels, an over sized ottoman they can use as a seat or side table or suitcase stand, and a pop-up laundry hamper for their dirty clothes to keep the room clean.

I also add a small caddy basket (from Thirty One) with all kinds of travel toiletries they might have forgotten: body wash, shampoo, conditioner, deodorant, mouthwash, toothbrush, toothpaste, floss, earplugs, face wipes, lotion, fingernail clippers, nail file, sewing kit, body spray, Ferebreze spray, etc.

 I also framed our Wi-Fi code so our guests didn't have to come downstairs for it, added some tissues and an air-freshener so the room would smell inviting. Our spare room also has our old Xbox 360 and a smaller TV in so our guests can watch Hulu, Netficks or use it for DVDs.

Simple transformation for maximum guest comfort in our home! We don't see family often and we love that they decide to stay with us in our house instead of at a hotel! Our sons love waking up and having a family member eat breakfast with them and be there all day and tucking them in at night. The fun never stops because the family member doesn't have to leave for the night! I am very fortunate to have the extra room for our family to stay in!

Happy Mommy-ing!

Taking 2 Under 6 to the Dentist

I hate the Dentist! I've always hated going! They never tell you you're doing anything right, it's always what you're doing wrong in my experience. Until I was about six I went to an adult dentist and did not enjoy it one bit. Then my mom found a children's dentist for me and my two younger siblings and he was a sweet old man that was gentle and talked me through the whole thing in order to calm my nerves. I do not want my past unpleasant experiences to dictate how my children perceive the dentist. After a lot of research, I found a children's dentist that's in the same building as my dentist. Again he is a sweet old man, he is very patient with my kids. All the hygienists are extremely patient, they talk to my kids like they're the most important people in the room and I'm allowed to be in there with them which was very very important to me. So how do I do it by myself?

1. I make the appointment at the end of the school day, just late enough that my son only misses the last 20 minutes of school so hopefully there aren't a bunch of kids there or a long wait time.

2. I get there early to fill out paperwork, because there always seems to be more paperwork I have to fill out at every visit.

3. In the waiting room they have video games  but I also brought along snacks, juice cups and tablets with headphones just in case.

4. To make things easier on myself for after the appointment I decided to make dinner using the crock pot that way no matter how long it takes (with a 5 year old and a screaming Terrible Two Toddler, extra time is always a good idea!) the main component of dinner will be done and ready for us when we get home. I just have to heat up the taco shells, my husband already shredded the cheese from earlier in the week and set the table.

Mom Tip: When we used to go to the dentist as kids my mom would pick us up from school and have us brush our teeth in the car. I didn't understand the reason then because they made you brush your teeth again when you got there and then they brushed them with their dentist tools. As a mom though I completely understand where she was coming from. Not that my kids are old enough to understand and brush their teeth before we go - so I just gave them breath mints and hoped that their teeth aren't so bad.

Their visit went great! We honestly spent more time in the waiting room than we did in the exam area. My youngest screamed when they counted his teeth, so that was all they could do for him. The hygienist did give him a treat bag with a new tooth brush, sticker and bathtub toy. She also gave him a plastic mouth mirror, hoping it would allow them to do more. It did not but my youngest liked his new toys. My oldest was very good! Since they examined my kids at the same time, my focus was on holding my youngest and helping the dentist, and my oldest was left with his hygienist. He did everything he was told and they both had no cavities!

Happy Mommy-ing!

Mom Bag: No More Diaper Bag

There's a new trend going on these where moms of older toddlers (above the age for 2 years old) are letting go of carrying around a huge, fully loaded diaper bag. I know I have stopped doing so, unless we are going super far away from our house. I used to have a smaller diaper bag always packed and ready to go (link here) but it got to the point that I hated carrying around 2 bags still. Mom of 2, running after a toddler that refuses to sit in the cart or hold your hand - juggling 2 bags was NOT working for me. Or I would leave the small diaper bag in the car and then he would need a diaper change - so that did not work out either. So there are lot of moms on YouTube that were doing "What's in my bag" videos calling them "Mommy Editions". There are also a few Pins on Pinterest about "Ditching the Diaper bag" and "Mom Bag Essentials", both of which are good things to Pin and read later.
So what is a "Mom Bag"?! It is a diaper bag and a purse all in one! There are numerous versions out there but in my case it is a pouch for my kids' needs inside my everyday purse. Stuff that I may need when we are out grocery shopping or other errands. Mine is very basic, very bare minim because I have redone my car to have more of the kids' needs inside it so I can carry less on me (post coming soon on Mommy Car).

When we are out running errands there's really only 3 things that will keep my youngest happy (most of the time my oldest is in school while we are running errands) 1. a sippy cup of juice, 2. my phone or my Kindle Fire with kids apps on it and finally 3. tons of snacks! As long as he's eating, he's happy. So like I said, there is not a lot I carry with me at all times. My new purse is from Thirty One and it's the Cross-body Organizing Tote and I love it! It took some moving around to get use to it but I love it! Everything that I had in my purse (post link here) is in my Thirty One Super Swap It Pocket, so I just took that thing out and placed it in my new purse no problem. This new tote has 2 mesh side pockets which are perfect for my youngest's sippy cup and I bottle of soda for me (mom of a toddler - we need caffeine!). Then it has 2 outside front pockets for my cell phone, sunglasses, mittens because it's February, and Ipod. Even the Kindle in a case fits in these front pockets! Not sounding like too much kids' stuff right?

I carry with me at all times a Thirty One Pocket a Tote, clear zipper pouch with 2 size 4 diapers, a travel pack of wipes (when this runs out, instead of spending $2 for 18 wipes, I am just going to put some wipes from home in a Ziploc baggie to save some money), some fruit snacks to stop those terrible-two meltdowns and small suckers as a last resort.

In addition to that clear zipper pouch and sippy cup, when I know we are going out to run errands I throw in tons of snacks for him: cereals bars, crackers, cereal, cookies and a pouched food of some sort (not all of these but a few things) and I'm all set! So as long as I have a sippy cup, snacks, entertainment and diapering needs for my youngest.. my purse is the perfect Mom Bag!

Happy Mommy-ing! 

Surviving Our Income Tax Appointment

It's Income Tax Time! My husband and I have always gone into an office to get our taxes done just in case something goes wrong or we fill out something the wrong way. This post is about how we took our 5 and 2 year olds into an office and how they behaved well in a cubicle for our appointment that lasted an hour and a half: 

1. We Prepared Before-Hand: Whenever there is a chance for me to print off forms and fill them out at home, I do. The Tax Office told us what forms to fill out and what documents to bring with us when we called to set up our appointment. I found all the things I needed and once I filled out the forms, I put them all into an accordion file. 

All of our papers were safe from the rain and kids in this folder

2. We Brought Quiet Activities: I have done a few posts on all the quiet time activities I have for my kids (link here to Ultimate Busy Bag Post). I brought our Restaurant Kit (link Here) with us as well as some small blocks and this V-Tech Tablet my youngest got for his birthday but it also helps my oldest with his letters and numbers. Most of the time my youngest sat in my husband's lap coloring and eating while my oldest sat playing with the V-Tech toy, then the blocks on the floor since he decide the blocks needed to fall down after he built a tower with them. 

Our Restaurant Kit, V-Tech tablet toy and blocks

3. We Had Snacks: Snacks are the #1 thing that keep our 2 year old from having meltdowns every minute! We always have packed with us: a sippy cup with half juice/half water, fruit snacks, some type of cookie and some type of cracker. This time we almost brought extra cereal in a snack container, mini water bottle, mini juice bottle, cereal bars and extra fruit snacks. 

This is not all we took with us, there was a lot more! This was all that was left!

4. When All Else Failed, We had the Tablet with Headphones and Movies: I don't know where my husband got this headphone splitter years ago but it helps us out so much! I brought their headband headphones (LOVE THESE!!), Tablet and tablet stand. We ended up not needing this until the very end. My youngest was okay watching a movie after he got tired of sitting on my husband's lap while my oldest sat on the floor building with the blocks.

Headband headphones, headphone splitter and tablet stand. My oldest has his tablet for nap time right now.

5. Mommy's Secret Weapon! I didn't end up needing this Secret Weapon but I had it stashed away in my purse in the event I needed to calm or bribe one or both kids to behave. It works every time! 

We did it! We got through our appointment with one meltdown from each kid but it was quickly resolved by a snack or new activity! No one had to go to the car or take a kid home, no one got stressed out and no weird looks from anyone so I would call today's appointment a success! 

Happy Mommy-ing!