When Mommy Needs a "Mommy Moment"

Have you stopped today to tell yourself that you are amazing? I'm serious here! I once saw a comic strip depicting a "mom-bie" like a mom as a zombie. I think that and the picture of a mom as a super hero are the 2 most correct ways of describing moms everywhere!

Think about it for a moment...we moms do SO MUCH and so many things in just a day. My eldest the other day told me the same story about a game on his tablet over fifteen times in a matter of hours! He told the lady at the store, he told the guy at the gas station, he told his baby brother, he told his Great Grandmother on a Skype call and he even told the cat! My sweet husband, got to hear the story once. One time! While I heard it so many times that by the time we were eating dinner and he told his daddy it once, I was so frustrated that I blew up at him. My eldest just wanted to tell his story because he was excited and passionate and I blew right past it because I didn't want to hear it again. How shameful is that!? But what do you expect?

We as moms can't go to the bathroom by ourselves, or eat forbidden yummy foods without sharing. We have to multitask chores like dishes, laundry, making dinner and referring the kids. We do all this (and more sometimes!) while our husbands go potty for 45 minutes ALONE, read an enlightening article, watch hilarious videos, go to the gym, work on the car or on their new high score on a video game. Sure the husbands might work full time, stressful jobs so that we as stay-at-home moms can do just that: stay at home. I love being able to do just that! I really do appreciate that my husband works at a job that brings in enough money for me to get to stay home with my kids! However, his job ends once he's home and then he can relax. My job, as a mommy, is 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year! It is a never ending job!
No wonder I blew up at my eldest after I had heard the same story all day... but I wonder if I had left the room or mentally checked out during that story, would I have reacted the same way? One of my dear friends said this once to me: "when my husband is off of work at 5PM, so am I. He is off the clock and so am I." That's a wonderful thought and that works well for her but someone's solution isn't always your solution. This test of life is not a cheat-able one; it's a scientific theory kind of test. Tons and tons of trial and error! I wonder if I would have taken a "mommy moment" to clear my head, and breathe deeply to calm myself if I would have reacted better and with more love.
Kids are like the water that slowly wears down a rock. It takes a little bit with every current. My patience wears down bit by bit, my happiness bit by bit and my love seems to sink while the anger comes full force. How horrible! How horrible to think that's what my children might only be seeing: my impatience, my unhappiness and my anger.
I stay up late in the evenings because I love the silence of my house. I love getting the house back in order and everything ready for the next morning. I watch my romantic dramas and crocheting. That's my favorite "mommy moment". I used to get up before everyone too, eat breakfast in peace, and have a cup of tea, while it's hot to get me going. I'd be dressed and fully ready for the day by the time I needed to wake up the kids and then I could focus on them. Unfortunately, late nights and early mornings don't work together and no one likes or gets along with a grumpy, tired mom! When my boys get frustrated or upset about something, I tell them to "cool off" for a bit, take a break from whatever is making them feel that way and relax. Why am I not doing it myself?! I should be "practicing what I preach"! Why not say, "I need a mommy moment" and cool off?! I think I'm a bad mom that's a bit too uptight... but I know that I can get to that happy mom status I'm so desperately trying to achieve. Maybe more "mommy moments" can help get me to that goal and help me show more love and happiness for my amazing boys!!

Happy Mommy-ing!

Making Time for "Mommy Time"

We all love our kids? It's safe to say that if we didn't love our kids, we would not do the things we do as moms: feed them, launder & put away their clothes, play with them, stay up late worrying about them, talk about them to other moms. I mean, is there really anything else to talk about? Kids are a HUGE part of our lives?! Kids are wonderful and being a mom is the single best thing I have ever done in my life and the one thing I would never change!

My two beautiful boys!

Look at these two boys of mine! Don't they look so sweet and loving?! Why would I ever want to be away from them? As I'm writing this my youngest is sitting at the dinner table with me, coloring with his dry erase marker on his little white board. Sounds cute right? He's colored on the table cloth (vinyl so no worries, plus being dry erase I hope it wipes up clean) as well as his bibs. My husband is trying to entertain our oldest by playing video games in the living room with him but by the amount of times I hear him say "no" I know that's not going well either. Now my youngest has screamed his head off, pointing to my phone because he knows I have kid games on it for him. At this point in the day, I'll allow it so I don't have to listen to him scream for the fifteenth time in the past hour!

My neighbor and best friend, May, was over earlier talking about her "Mommy Time". She said, "Mommy time is important. It sounds weird but I enjoy ironing his (cloth) diapers while my husband watches him in our room." Sounds like heaven! That got me thinking: this is a great idea! I mean, I do something similar to this when my husband is working late at night. It's the perfect time to eat those foods you hide (from EVERYONE!), watch that show you only want to watch alone (currently Younger which I love!) and crochet or fold laundry or sit on the couch doing nothing. It's my time that I look forward do every day and I'm so upset when it is interrupted. So is this my "Mommy Time"?

I always thought "Mommy Time" was when my husband took the kids to the store without me or I went out to get a pedicure with May and my other best friend Rae. But those don't happen often, I mean I don't get a new pedicure every weekend. I do enjoy my time with my girls, away from my family but is it selfish to look forward to that hour each night where I'm not needed and can do, eat and watch what I want by myself? No. It. Is. Not. 

I think we Moms need to take some time every day for just us. 😮 What did I just say?! We need to crave out time each day to take care of ourselves?!?! How are we suppose to do that? Even before we wake up our days are full of our kids, our spouses and their lives, and on top of everything - some moms work too! Not to mention the house work, the cooking, the house maintenance like grocery shopping and bill paying, actually finding time to get yourself somewhat decent looking with makeup and hair not in a ponytail, friend time, family time with both your family and family far away, AND we're suppose to eat right and exercise 3 times a week?! And now I'm saying to take an hour to relax by yourself? Half the time you can't even go to the bathroom by yourself!

Even the most together of moms get tired and stressed out and don't want to do a single thing more. We all have our snapping points, and that is okay! With our oldest starting school and my husband frequently on business trips, everything falls on me. So I need to find time, by myself, to focus on a happier me. If there is one thing I have learned from my 5 years as a mom, if I, myself, am not 100% feeling okay - the whole family suffers.

So moms, start taking the time to focus on you a little each day! It might be to fold laundry and watch a show on TV, read a chapter a night of a book, drink some tea (or wine lol) on the front porch and watch the stars come out. Whatever you decide, make sure it's just your time. No kids, and no spouses! Just you. Enjoying the peace and quiet till that baby screams at 2AM! And I promise you'll be thanking yourself later for taking that time to unwind and distress.