So I was at the dentist the other day, getting some fillings - feeling assumed and guilty for putting myself and the dentist people in the position to have to fix my teeth. I hate the dentist! They never tell you you're doing a good job, unless you're part of the 5% of people that have great teeth and actually take care of them properly. I brush once a day, floss every other day - so by NO means am I perfect and yes I could get better! That's not the point of this blog. As I was getting ready to leave and I was paying for my fillings - another woman was talking to the front desk lady about all the fillings she needs. She needed a lot more than I do plus she required extra sedation because of her extreme fear of needles. Why was I so embarrassed?!
Or when I get a pedicure, I'm always ashamed of my rough heels and my ingrown big toe nail (sorry, SUPER GROSS AND TOO PERSONAL!). I always have a fear that when the ladies talk in another language to each other that they are gossiping about my nasty feet. I use lotion regularly, I use a pumice stone weekly and trim as needed so my feet aren't completely disgusting. They have seen, touched, and worked on worse feet than mine. So why am I worried that they are talking about me?
Or at the doctor, I'm always embarrassed about my weight (I'm nearly 6 foot tall and weight between 168 and 178). Or when they ask about any issues I'm having with my body. The worst is the female doctor and the exams at that office.... that's by far so embarrassing for every woman alive!! But I'm not the worst body they've seen. I'm not the best either - but not the worst.
Why do we do this?! As women, we are always so self conscious about everything;but on the other end of that scale we are always comparing ourselves (negatively and positively) to other women! Where does it end? When do we become comfortable enough in the world to just be ourselves? The saying goes, "Never compare yourself to others, you'll always lose." - Unknown
So how do you do that? How do you quiet all the negative thoughts inside your head? How do you stop over thinking, stop being so worried about rejection and show the world the real you? The truth is, I have no idea... it's a personal thing we all have to deal with daily - heck hourly for some of us! If each of us, on a daily basis, stop over thinking and stop worrying about how the world sees us and simply focus on being happy and positive members of society then things will change for the better. As for me, I'm going to stop feeling ashamed when I go to places like the dentist and doctor because that is their jobs! That's is what we pay them for - helping us take care of our teeth. I'm going to take better care of myself and be proud of who I am as a person, as a mommy and as a wife. I love my life! All I can tell you is that you, as a person, are perfect the way you are! Flaws and all!
Happy Mommy-ing!
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