Heart - Break Healing

I always seem to be giving my friends relationship advice. Like I've been in a relationship any longer than any of them. My husband and I have been together this year 7 years in December, four years and married this month. And before him I had one serious relationship that lasted 14 months and two little fling that lasted about a month each so I'm not the biggest expert on relationships because I haven't had a lot of them. But here is my relationship advice when your significant other screws up and you don't think you can ever forgive them. And nothing too crazy like cheat on you with a stripper or get another girl pregnant or fall in love with your best friend. And by no means in any abuse ever ok - physical,  mental, emotional, sexual - none of it is ever ok get out ASAP if any of that is happening to you or if one of your friends! That being said here are my top 3 things in forgiving your partner and having a healthy, loving marriage.

#1: Understand that they are only human- they will make mistakes every single day of their life! Don't let the small things get in the way of the big picture. Arguments will happen, you will fight, you will get pissed off at each other - he will leave his underwear all over the floor and never clean up after himself and never make the bed. Or as my husband says it I always leave my hairs stuff all over the bathroom counter, I am always a stickler for wanting things neat and straight, I multitask too much and burn the food and never make the same dish twice, my temper flares up. Truth be told neither one of us is perfect and we try our best not to let that get in the way of our relationship which it does on a daily basis and that is totally okay. A relationship without fights or a relationship with nothing but fights is no relationship at all. Like everything in life - moderation is key.

#2: There is a photo on Facebook that states marriage in the best possible way. It says, "Marriage is not 50-50. Divorce is 50-50. Marriage is 100-100 every single moment of every single day." I might have paraphrased a bit but it's true. If one person is giving it their all, putting all their energy in their marriage while the other does not - their marriage is doomed. I know first hand: there was a time that I did all the household chores, cooking, errand running, laundry...heck I even set out my husband's outfits, complete with shoes and socks! It was after we moved and I found myself stuck at home all day and bored out of my mind. My husband loved me going above and beyond the normal housewife work and when he didn't help out, I became resentful. I stopped doing all the extra and my husband didn't understand why I was so upset with him. I shouldn't have been doing so much and expecting him to do the same for me.

#3: Intimacy is very, very important! Not just sex, but that is important as all, but touching, talking, inside-jokes, cuddling. There are so many articles trying to help us understand that touch each other a little through out the day leads to a healthy marriage. Kissing each other good-bye and hello, hugging randomly during the day - heck even the occasional smack on a butt cheek like my husband loves doing to me - makes us closer each day. (Although most of the time it totally irratites me, I need to remember that is his way of showing his affection for me.) So the next time you're driving together, out shopping, or watching a movie - move closer, brush your hand against theirs and chances are as soon as you touch them, they will touch you right back.

I wish you all the best in your relationships. Remember to love first and that they are only human. Forgive and always remember why you fall in with them in the first place 💞

New Job...New Me!

My husband and I went through Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace workshop a few years ago and we were cruising along just great until we decided to get a second car and started living above our means. So my husband said unless I didn't want to drive home for Christmas (Fat Chance!) then I needed to go out and rejoin the work force. I was upset because I was perfectly happy being at home with my son all day. I was filling out job applications online when my husband told me he might be deploying again. That raises his income and I wouldn't have to get a job! We were very happy, for about 2 days when the whole deployment was called off. A few of my friends were babysitting other people's kids and I decided to give it a shot and applied for some. One lady didn't want me bringing along my son because she worked from home and needed quiet. Another one was for a grade-school child and an elderly lady. Then there was one that no one had responded to, a job 3pm to also midnight with three kids. Sounded long but promising. I got it and I love it! The kids are great and the mom is so sweet!

Lesson Learned: Go for it, even if you have some doubts! Try it down anyways!  

Adjusting

So it's been a week since Hubby left for his 9 month deployment and life, unfortunately must go on. There are certain things that I use to do that I will not do while he is away for the best interests of us all. I use to watch the news when I had those late night/very early morning feeds with my son but after they featured a story on a widowed wife who was joining the Army in honor of her husband, that hit me too close to home. The past week my son had a bad cold complete with a fever, we have been staying indoors just cuddling. That in itself has made this first week fly by.
As I wait for his extra pay to kick in, I'm getting my lists together on the things I'm going to need for organizing and making our new house a home. The first step, hang up all our framed pictures around the house so Hubby's face is there when I miss him and our families are proudly displayed as a reminder that I'm not alone. Love my new feature wall in our living room, I look at it numerous times a day and walk by it all the time. Next, get a sugar shaker, like the ones at coffee shops, so we don't have to walk to the pantry, get out the huge 4 pound container every morning to have my morning cup of tea. Easy enough because found one at Walmart for a buck!  
Well that's all for now. Happy Thanksgiving, I have more than enough to be thankful for this year!

New House, New Baby but No Hubby

All too soon my hubby will be deploying for 9 months leaving me home alone in our newly purchased two story, four bedroom house. Excuse me, leaving me with our 3 month old son and our two cats. So just about all alone. Like many military families we moved away from our families and it takes a 6 hour plane ride to go see them - so having family here to support me is out of the question. It's our first deployment, our first house and our first baby. What to do, what to do? I not the greatest at being alone; while my hubby was in Basic Training for 5 months it took all of my strength just to get out of bed in the morning. It was hard on us because we were newlyweds and just like then we have a lot of new things going on. This time I can't stay in bed all day just so the days go by faster while I was sleeping. No this time I have a baby to take care of. So to keep my mind off the fact that my hubby is deployed I'll be throwing myself into getting back into shape, playing with my sweet baby and making our new house a home my hubby will love to come back home to. *fingers crossed*